


1 H4T3 YOU

by planetundersiege



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Affectionate Insults, Black JohnRezi, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Chalk, Comedy, Earth C, F/M, Hate, Homestuck - Freeform, Human/Troll, John x Terezi, JohnRezi, Leetspeak, Oneshot, Pesterlog, Post SBURB, Post canon, Swearing, Texting, Trolls, Typing Quirks, hatelove, kismesitude, middle of the night, pesterchum, typing quirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 07:14:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13631319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetundersiege/pseuds/planetundersiege
Summary: GC: FOR FUCKS S4K3 JOHN, HOW H4RD 1S 1T TO WR1T3 4 S1MPL3 R3SPONS3? 1T’S NOT L1K3 W3’R3 L4CK1NG 4NY T1M3 H3RE. 1T T4K3S T3N S3CONDS TOPS TO WR1T3 4 M3SS4G3 B4CK, 3V3N 1F 1T’S 4 “SORRY, JOHN 3GB3RT C4N’T T4K3 YOUR C4LL 4T TH3 MOM3NT, PL34S3 L34V3 4 M3SS4G3 4FT3R TH3 B33P”.Terezi messages John at 3 am.





	1 H4T3 YOU

**Author's Note:**

> I just recently found out how to make pester logs like this so I just had to write something that included them.

\- - gallowsCalibrator [GC] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 3:24 - -

GC: H3Y 4SSHOL3! 4R3 YOU TH3R3?  
GC: JOHN, 1 SM3LL TH4T YOU’R3 ONL1N3!  
GC: :?  
GC: S3RIOUSLY 4R3 YOU GONN4 4NSW3R OR NOT? B3C4US3 TH1S 1S G3TT1NG 4NNOY1NG.  
GC: 1, T3R3Z1 PYROP3 D3CL4R3 TH4T YOU N33D TO 4NSW3R TH1S 1NST4NT! 4S 4 L3G4L1SL4TOR 1 US3 MY POW3R TO G3T YOU TO T4LK.  
GC: FOR FUCKS S4K3 JOHN, HOW H4RD 1S 1T TO WR1T3 4 S1MPL3 R3SPONS3? 1T’S NOT L1K3 W3’R3 L4CK1NG 4NY T1M3 H3RE. 1T T4K3S T3N S3CONDS TOPS TO WR1T3 4 M3SS4G3 B4CK, 3V3N 1F 1T’S 4 “SORRY, JOHN 3GB3RT C4N’T T4K3 YOUR C4LL 4T TH3 MOM3NT, PL34S3 L34V3 4 M3SS4G3 4FT3R TH3 B33P” 1T'S NOT TH4T H4RD.  
GC: 1 KNOW 1T’S THR33 4M BUT 4NSW3R.  
GC: ???  


EB: hey terezi, sorry i was chatting with jane about a crockercorp thing, along with an assassination attempt and blowing up the moon. also you sound a bit like karkat, have you gotten enough sleep?  
EB: but back to the moon thing, our subjects are a bit weird, you had to be on hold, because the moon, we had to save the moon. the moon is there and it can't be harmed, it reminds me too much of old earth to just get hurt. it reminds be of my childhood you know, you would totally feel the same if this moon would have been alternian green or pink. wait, i'm rambling again, abut the moon. i'll read your messages now, just wait a sec  
EB: but god, reading those messages. you’re so fucking annoying, you know that? but seriously, go look at the moon, it's to nice to disappear.  


GC: NOT 4S 4NNOY1NG 4S YOU, YOU SH1T ST1NK1NG HUM4N. YOU 4R3 V3NT1NG 4BOUT TH3 MOON. 4LSO, 1 4M ST1LL BL1ND 1F YOU H4V3N'T NOT1C3D, 1 C4N'T 4CTU4LLY "LOOK" 4T TH3 MOON.  


EB: oh sorry i didn't really think about that. 

GC: YOU 4LW4YS M4K3 M3 SO 1RR1T4T3D, UNR3L4T3D TO TH3 MOON TH1NG, B3C4US3 1T DO3S SM3LL GOOD 1N TH3 41R.  
GC: BUT ST1LL.  
GC: 1 FUCK1NG H4T3 YOU, JUST THROW1NG 1T OUT TH3R3.  
GC: <3<  
GC: BUT WHY W3R3 YOU D1SCISS1NG TH3 MOON WITH J4N3 4T THREE 4M?  


EB: why are you texting me at 3 am in the first place? shouldn’t you sleep?  


GC: GOOD QU3ST1N, 4ND Y3S 1 SHOULD, BUT H3R3 1 4M T4LK1NG TO YOU 1NST34D.  
GC: DON’T KNOW WHY, M4YB3 B3C4US3 I LIK3 YOUR 4NNOY1NG 4SS 4FT3R 4LL. I H4T3 YOU ROM4NT1LLY.  


EB: geez. stop all that flirting.  
EB: but i like you too, or well hate. like not hating as in “hate”, like normal hate, human hate. like i hate you but not platonically.  
EB: fuck, troll romance is still so new to me.  


GC: W3'V3 B33N D4T1NG FOR L1K3 TWO Y34RS, YOU SHOULD KNOW 4 TH1NG 4BOUT H4T3D4T1NF, BUT GOG, S31NG YOU L1K3 TH1S3, YOU’R3 SO FUCK1NG STUP1D, BUT 1T’S CUT3.  
GC: YOU’R3 L1K3 4 L1TTL3 W1GGL3R WHO 1S SO CLU3L3SS ON TH3S3 TH1NGS.  


EB: well excuse me for my species not having a concept of hatedating. humans on earth c has it, but since i’m from old earth i never grew up with it, only the "red" romance as trolls call it.  


GC: OLD HUM4NS W3R3 SO BOR1NG, K1SM3S1TUD3S SP1C3S TH1NGS UP, 3V3RYON3 KNOWS THAT.  
GC: BUT 1 C4N’T BL4M3 YOU.  
GC: YOU’R3 TOO CUT3 FOR TH4T, I R34LLY H4T3 YOU.  


EB: i hate you too tz.  
EB: <3<  
EB: just don’t be late to the breakfast in a few hours, all of us will be there. we're gonna talk about the moon.  


GC: SH4LL TRY, 3GDORK.  
GC: HOP3 TH3R3’S CH4LK.  


EB: tz please don’t eat chalk.  


GC: YOU C4N’T T3LL M3 WH4T TO DO. NOW 1’M GO1NG OUT TO BUY CH4LK.  
GC: SM3LL Y4 L4T3R!

\- - galowsCalibrator [GC] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 3:36 - -

EB: you can’t buy chalk at 3 am! the stores are closed.  
EB: terezi?  
EB: oh you left. well good luck finding a chalk store that’s open in the middle of the night, just don’t bring it to breakfast.  
EB: god i hatelove you so much.  
EB: <3<

\- - ectoBiologist [EB] left the conversation - -


End file.
